You Might Be A Redneck If...

[ellanoize]

Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their adventure, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, ?The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind.?

One of the hunters pushed forward, ?Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What?s with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, ?Do you know where we are??

?I think so,? replied the other Redneck. ?Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!?

[ellanoize]

You might be a redneck if...

You think cur is a breed of dog.

People hear your car long before they see it.

Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

[cherrysmum]

*wiping tears*...I needed to catch up because I've been away and now I'm paying dearly for it..ROTFLMAO...these are just too funny....